Love Hopes All Things-Godly Optimism

I Corinthians 13: 7 KJV

The third phrase in verse 7 tells us that love “hopes all things.” This is simply a step beyond believing. The meaning is something like this. There are times in life when you face situations so difficult that faith is not possible. You would gladly give the benefit of the doubt but there is none to give. You search for the silver lining but the angry clouds overhead have no silver lining.

Some of you may be facing a situation like that right now. In your life there is a difficult circumstance for which there are no easy answers. It may be your marriage. It may be one of your children. It may be your family. It may be an illness. It may be impending financial disaster. It may be your job. Whatever it is, only one word applies: IMPOSSIBLE. You have cried and wept and prayed and done everything you know how to do and nothing seems to help.

[In my own life, I have experienced this within the past 6 months. I believed that this was one of most stretching times in my life. Ever feel like you knew God was there, but it felt like He was so far away? Once I explained to a former student that when it felt like God was far away, He was just helping someone who needed Him a little more. “He would never leave His own,” I explained. That rationale worked for an adolescent. So when I go through, I recall those words to my mind so that I have a little hope. With God all things are possible—I repeat to myself over and over again. It works in the closest of relationships!]

What does love do in an impossible situation? What do you do when you can’t believe anymore? You hope. That’s a step beyond belief. Belief is finding a tiny grain of evidence to rest on. Hope rests on God alone.

When Jesus washed the disciples’ feet, where was Judas? According to John 13, he was right there in the room. Did Jesus know what Judas was about to do? Absolutely. He even told him to go out and do it. Did Jesus wash Judas’ feet? Yes. And he was not play-acting either. How could he do it? He did it because he loved Judas even though he knew Judas would soon betray him. That’s how love works. No matter how impossible the situation, no matter if it looks like there is no possibility of change, love always hopes. It looks to the future, not to the past.

[Notice: Love ALWAYS hopes! Not sometimes…ALL of the time!]

Let’s apply this principle to our closest relationships. We are often told that we must accept people just the way they are. That is true in one sense and untrue in another sense. Sometimes we are tempted to throw up our hands and say, “This is the way you are and no matter what I do, you are never going to change.” That’s not acceptance. That’s fatalism. It’s only true if there is no God. Biblical acceptance is based on hope in God. It says, “I accept that this is the way you are right now. But I don’t believe you are going to stay this way. I’m not giving up hope.” When hope is gone, life is gone. To hope is to believe in God in spite of what you see around you.

[I am so guilty of thinking that a loved one will never change. Read again: THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE--Not if we are going to get to the AGAPE kind of Love that the Bible teaches to have for one another. It wasn’t until I met *TC* that I learned this lesson. I pray for TC all the time, “This is the way you are right now and I love you like this, but I believe that God will do a GREATER work in you than you can even see.” I really do believe this for TC. When it comes down to it, there is nothing in me that is willing to deal with anything in anyone that is uncomfortable! It is God alone that makes it possible for me to be even say, “I Love you,” and mean it! I am at a place where I can take God at His word and HOPE that He sees enough in me to keep giving me such amazing loved ones. I believe that the last statement “when hope is gone, life is gone” is very true. When we lose hope in the ones we love, the life of that relationship is gone, but again…With God all things are possible. (Matt 19:26) TC, I love you and can't wait until He brings you back.]

**Our President Barack H. Obama is known for saying, “While we breathe, we hope.” I want to be that hopeful. With every breath in my body, I want to be optimistic, never giving up hope in those I Love and more importantly in GOD! Continue to pray for me...**

Tiffaney

(words in [] are the opinions of Tiffaney K. Draper. Sermon from www.keepbelieving.com)

Love-- Believes All Things-Godly Trust

I Corinthians 13

To “believe all things” means that love believes the best that is possible as long as that can be done. Love gives the benefit of the doubt. It takes people at their highest and best-not at their lowest and worst.

[How many times do we struggle with giving up when people are at their lowest? In my life, I have come to realize that when people are at their lowest, I hurt for them and want them to do better. This desire in me is from GOD alone. It is Him working through me. Tiffaney is not strong enough to deal with a lot of the issues that come up with those that I love. It seems as if they are always in WINTER seasons, BUT GOD...I can stop right there...BUT GOD in whom I Live, move, and have my being provides me with the courage and strength to be there ESPECIALLY when times are rough. Can you trust Him to help you LOVE people enough to give them the benefit of the doubt?]

We live in an increasingly cynical age. If a person gives a large sum of money to a worthy charity, there is sure to be someone who mutters under his breath, “What’s the catch? What’s in it for him?” I’m not suggesting that love equals naive gullibility. Love must always be guarded by wisdom on one hand and discernment on the other. True love won’t be taken in again and again by a con artist. At some point love says, “Enough is enough.” But it is also useful to remember that even in a court of law, the accused person is always “innocent until proven guilty.” Love says, “I am willing to wait for the evidence to come in before making my decision. I choose to give you the benefit of the doubt as long as there is reason to do so.” Some of us treat our loved ones in nearly the opposite way: “You are guilty until you prove you are innocent."

[There was a time when I struggled consistently with loving those around me with wisdom and discernment. My life has been a testament to what happens when you become a crutch. I had to learn to love from a distance and love someone enough discern when I am being a crutch and when enough is MORE than enough. Love says, I (Tiffaney) need to back up and enough to let you see that God is more than able to handle your situation. On another note, how much can be said about loving someone enough to say, I want to make sure before I make a decision? I choose to give those that I love the benefit of the doubt. I am willing to believe that this will help us in our relationships.]

People tend to become what we believe them to be. They either live up to or down to your expectations. If you treat a man as trustworthy, he will strive to prove himself worthy of your trust. If you tell a child, “Take a big swing. You can hit that ball,” he’ll go to the plate and swing like Babe Ruth. If you treat your wife as if she is the most beautiful woman in the world, she will be transformed before your very eyes.

That’s what Jesus did. To vacillating Simon, he said, “You are a rock.” To a prostitute, he said, “Your sins are forgiven.” To a woman caught in adultery, he said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” It is the simple power of believing the best and not the worst about people.

Love believes the best as long as it can be believed. What a difference it makes when we believe in those around us. What a difference it makes when husbands and wives, and parents and children, and teachers and students, and friends and co-workers, and church members truly believe in each other. What a difference it makes in the dark moments of life when you can say to those you love, “I believe in you and no matter what happens, we’re going to make it through this thing together.

[There isn't much I can say here except, "WOW! God!" The Message Bible underscores that Love "Isn't always "me first," Doesn't fly off the handle, Doesn't keep score of the sins of others.." To me this says I need to give people the benefit of the doubt BEFORE I judge and open my mouth. I need to leave previous transgressions in the past where they belong. What would I do if God held everything I ever did against me? And what I really need to do is give up the selfishness. It's not about me! This is a strange deviation from society's view of how things work. Society's "it's all about me" attitude is a stark contrast to the biblical view of "it's not about me." Humility and selflessness underscore the bible's AGAPE love. This is the kind of love I desire. I don't have a problem telling those I love that I am on their team, that I will be there for it all, and that I have their back no matter what (MJ). I want to honestly say to those I love that I believe in them no matter what happens and we'll make it through together!]

Tiffaney

(words in [] are the opinions of Tiffaney K. Draper. Sermon from www.keepbelieving.com)

Love Bears ALL things

Bears All Things-Godly Silence (from Keep Believing Ministries)

1 Corinthians 13: 7 KJV love “bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”


The first phrase says that love “bears all things.” This comes from a Greek word meaning to cover something. It is related to the word for roof-a covering that offers protection from the hostile elements. I Peter 4:8 says that love covers a multitude of sins. That is precisely the meaning here. Love protects other people. It doesn’t broadcast bad news. It goes the second mile to protect another person’s reputation.

[Now, I can just stop right here in this message! Love protects other people..How many times over the last 6 months have I gone out of my way to protect those that I love even when I know they are not really acting right? I have been guilty of talking to the WRONG person a couple times when it came down to a particular situation. The result of that conversation was a dent on someone's reputation. I have prayed for and received forgiveness, and FINALLY learned that even conversations that occur in times of hurt are unacceptable if the words out of my mouth are not coming from a place of love. Insert a long SIGH!!...At times such as these, I should be SILENT....and listen and wait for God's peace...Normally, I am very good at protecting those I proclaim to love. Let me say that 95% of the time I will go WAY out of the way to protect them. It's those hurtful times that I need more of God to help me with!]

There are two very relevant applications: First, love doesn’t nitpick. It doesn’t point out every flaw of the ones you love. Once in a small group, we were discussing this very point and one of the wives present said a very wise thing: “You can’t talk everything out. Some things you just decide not to worry about.” She’s right. If you took time to point out every mistake your husband or wife made, you wouldn’t have time for anything else. That applies to every human relationship, not just to marriage.

[Again, I am willing to admit that I can be guilty of this. Especially when it comes to a particular someone. I do it under the umbrella of "I am tougher on you because I care so much." I know this is NOT ok on the inside of me because it is unsettling. After the fact, I lack peace about it. On the rare chance that I am nitpicking, I usually wait for a while to make sure I have talked to God, but if I truly LOVE someone, I need to make sure to get the log out of my own eye before I am so quick to get the speck out of their eye (Matthew 7:5). ***Insert gut-check emoticon** I need to take a cue from the message above and decide not to talk everything out..literally!!]

Second, love doesn’t criticize in public. This is perhaps Paul’s primary meaning. Love doesn’t do its dirty laundry for all the world to see. That’s why I cringe whenever I hear a husband humiliating his wife in public or a wife making snide remarks about her husband. I always think, if they do that in public, what do they do in private? As a friend of mine once told me, “There are many times in my life when I’ve been sorry I opened my mouth. But there has never been a time I’ve been sorry I kept silent.” When it comes to needless criticism of other people, that’s excellent advice.

[For me, this is probably one of those areas that I do well with. Almost too well. Not only do I not expose my business publicly, but I sometimes let it eat away at me until it spills out in an angry way. This is NOT of God! How can I love someone and I am not honest about a hurt that they have "unknowingly" inflicted on me? Well, I know that tingles for me, and I want it out of me. As I go through this learning about love period, I have been praying to find a balance of when to speak and when to ask the Lord to bridle my tongue (Psalm 39:1). I want to be able to bear ALL things and not just the things that are comfortable for me. Continue to pray for me.]

Tiffaney

(words in [] are the opinions of Tiffaney K. Draper. Sermon from www.keepbelieving.com)

Learning what LOVE means

Passion is a huge thing! Most of us think of passion as a sexual thing, but that's not what I mean. I have a tendency to give a thing all I have. Whether that thing be a job, a goal, or a relationship. I mean I love very hard. I value each and every task or relationship that I have to the point that that particular thing consumes my conversation. The problem is sometimes, I may not act like it. When is it appropriate to Not act like I love someone? Why is it that I need to have those that I love be how and who I want them to be? When am I going to accept them just as they are? No strings attached? What about unconditional love? When Jesus gave this love commandment, He didn't give us any prerequisites! John 13:34-35 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

My problem has been that I want to BE who I tell people I am (a die hard follower of God) which usually is the same person that people think that I am. As I have been participating in my first-of-the-year fast, God has been opening my eyes to several things. The first of those things is that I need to get back to root of who He created me to be...that passionate person who just loves everyone without any rules!! I think hurts have tainted me a bit. Since, you did this to me, I can't love you fully anymore. Since you won't listen to me, I am not loving you as much as I used to. Who do I really think I am?

I am the woman who He says I am, nothing can separate me from his love. See Christian love is not the same as that stuff we see on tv or in fairy tales. Christian love is giving to others those things that you would want them to give you if you were in their situation -- and it's doing so even if they can't pay you back. In fact, it's doing so especially if they can't pay you back! Christian love is respect for others. It's mercy. It's charity. Those things that Jesus freely gave us! As I go through this fast, I have been re-connecting with those who I love and haven't acted like it. I am forcing those ugly things out so that I can get back to that merciful and giving person that I know He made me to be. That young lady that others see and have stood by even through the toughest of times.

In my studies, I have refreshed myself on the 3 kinds of love: eros, philia, and agape.

Eros is what we mostly think of when we say we are "in love." This type of love covers everything from queasy stomachs and warm fuzzy feelings to strong sensual passion. In order to exist eros is dependent upon the situation and circumstances. Eros is also held captive to each person's perception. For example, if someone perceives a particular quiet evening dinner with candles to be romantic, eros will thrive. However, passion becomes squashed for someone whenever he or she interprets the current situation to be undesirable. Eros thus grows strong and then wastes away based upon our perceptions.

Although eros at times might make us feel like we are on cloud nine, it can not provide a reliable basis for building a deep and meaningful relationship since it is so fickle and dependent upon perception and circumstances. Although eros is exhilarating, this is not the Biblical word used for love.

Philia is the love of friendship, best friends, and the fellowship of being with those people you enjoy. Although philia is wonderful, it too is not reliable since it is also held captive by the sifting sands of situation as well as by ours and other's perceptions and expectations. Unfortunately, we probably all know of a friendship which waned or was severed because of time, distance, harsh words, how someone interpreted another's actions, etc. Again, not biblical love.

God's love is Agape love. Since it is not a knee jerk reaction nor just a responsive feeling to how I've been treated, agape is capable of acting in a hostile environment where there are no warm fuzzy feelings...to love when there isn't an ounce of love in return. If it were not enough that the proactive (not REACTIVE) nature of agape has the power to rise above its environment, it can also empower passion and friendship! For example, when a spouse chooses to speak and act toward the mate with agape, this creates the loving environment in which eros and philia can thrive! Although the proactive spouse might even perceive the other spouse as being unkind or rude, additional problems can be prevented by responding out of agape while the power of agape works at nurturing the growth of the other forms of love!

Jesus taught his disciples that the world would know that they his people if they would show agape toward one another. (refer back to John 13:35)

Examples of Agape Love: John 3:16, John 14:15,23, 1 John 3:17, and Ephesians 5:25-29

For the best refresher on learning what LOVE is, I searched 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 in the MSG bible.

"If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

Love never gives up. (Can we say that we never gave on on someone/thing?)
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. (Are you ok if God never "changed" that person?)
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle, (attitude, attitude?)
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel, (ever told someone that they'd pay for what they did?)
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything, (ANYTHING...not some things...not a lil bit..ANYTHING)
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best, (tell someone the best things about themselves sometimes)
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end. (Keeps going!! Don't stop!)

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives, our incompletes will be canceled.

When I was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good.

We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!

But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."

That list of what love does, doesn't do, is, isn't is a pretty hard pill to swallow, but it's SOOO appropriate and TRUE. I am taking it line by line and refreshing myself daily... feeding my spirit the things that are really nourishing as I deprive my body of certain foods. So, as I journey to get it right, and make things better, I pray that you will too.

The LOGO is HERE!!

I have attached a copy of the logo, and we are up and running as a Facebook group. Please spread the word and continue to support. We are in desperate need of donations of supplies or funds to purchase supplies. Please let me know if you can contribute. Call me at 404-200-7911 or email designergenesllc@gmail.com. Paypal is available.

Update L.A.D.I.E.S. by Design, Inc.

L.A.D.I.E.S. has received a "thumbs up" to begin mentoring a group of young ladies at Campbell Middle School in Cobb County, GA. The program will commence on Tuesday, October, 13th and follow each 2nd and 4th Tuesday through the school year. I am confident that the program will spread to more locations in the county very soon.

Thanks to all who helped L.A.D.I.E.S. by Design, Inc. with books & videos!! I am so proud to see people moving when the Lord prompts them to do so. I would love to see a more donations from publishers of our curriculum and even college campuses and churches.We still need basic supplies (pens, paper, journals, etc.) for 30 young ladies. Can anyone donate a new or used laptop?

Those of you who are willing, can you please make calls and send emails for donations of new or used supplies. We need to aggressively seek 501(c)(3) status to make it easier to raise funds. If you would like to make donations, I will give you my PayPal account information to do so. I have a logo that is completed (praise the Lord) and I am waiting on a distributable copy of it. I cannot wait to share it with you all.

I can be reached at (404) 200-7911 or designergenesllc@gmail.com.

Thanks,
Tiffaney K. Draper, Founder & CEO

L.A.D.I.E.S. by Design, Inc Needs Your Help!!

Can you donate/purchase books and video for a young girls' mentoring program? Souls of Black Girls Documentary and Don't Give it Away! by Iyanla Vanzant...(About 30 girls) The books are $4 including shipping on Amazon.com. Please email at designergenesllc@gmail.com or call 404-200-7911. We are also looking for the DVD, The Souls of Black Girls, which is on Amazon for $17.99 plus shipping. Please remember that all donations are tax-deductible.